Noodles come out the nose and ears

Tonight I came home from work to a quiet house. I thought the baby was asleep, so I kissed my wife and proceeded to lay all of shit all over the living room table like I do every night. All of a sudden I heard a google-wail from the dining room, and I turned to see my daughter sitting at her high chair with peas stuck up her nose looking at me like she was pissed that I didn’t say hello to her too. I went over, and of course my wife asked for me to finish feeding her, which I hesitated to do after an arduous day in the salt mines. Then she mentioned I could feed her whatever I wanted. And since I’ve wanted to try new foods, I yanked the jarred spaghetti from the cabinet. I surreptitiously unscrewed the jar and proceeded to scoop chilled tomato base noodles into her mouth. Then the wife, says:

"What’re you feeding her?”

"’Sca-betti’! I yelled out"

And then silence. I don’t think the wife really knew what to say, and had little more to see as I sat there giggling and laughing hysterically while I shoveled those noodles into her mouth…. The same noodles she then spit out all over her shirt.

I finished her meal while the wife watched Master P NOT dance with some expert dancer lady who is too damn patient. Then I threw the baby in the tub after she was good and covered in pasta goo and sauce. I sat on the small plastic chair in the tub and was splashed to hell and back as she laughed and played in the tub. Mommy was done with Master P and sat on the commode covered in a towel so she didn’t get splashed by the tsunami wave of the bambino.