Library Fines belong to malicious gnomes, not daddy doctoral students

I have had several books out from the library at the university since my daughter was born last spring. I even remember leaving the baby, wife, and mother-in-law one afternoon to go pick up several books. Of course they sat in the trunk for about 8 months and then on my book shelf until this week. The university has sent me nasty notes telling me to pay my bill or I would be sequestered to Dante’s lowest level of Hell. I finally took back the books tonight.

Me: “Um, here are several books I checked out a while back. I am returning them because they belong to you.”

Librarian: “I have bad news… You owe a fine.”

Me: “Crap. Are you sure?”

Library: “Yes, $10.”

Me: “Ten dollars?!” Then the sound of me slapping old Hamilton off my forehead before tossing the bill towards the librarian and politely asking for my receipt.

I then skipped home through the smelly orange trees and late dusk sky.